I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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