Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Come share oat with me in your robe
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize