Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize