If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My balls are so social today.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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