Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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