Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
