Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
