My first STD was from a foam party
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize