Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
