we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
