just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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