I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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