and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
