Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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