Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
