Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
