He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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