Pappa wants mamma naked
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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