What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
