there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
