You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
