I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
