I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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