Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
