We won't sleep together?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
