you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
