clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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