Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
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