You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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