pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Drunk is a universal language darling
false alarm, still single
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize