I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
