I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
