your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
