help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
