on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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