sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
