I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
