but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
