Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
