just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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