I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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