Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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