I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
