how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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