You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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