Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So many bounce houses so little time
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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