to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
