Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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