Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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