let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
