I wannas sexs uuuuu
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
