chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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