ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
