i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My penis needs a shock collar
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
