Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
