If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
