the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
